The guy on the train who always sits down the back and either ostentatiously busies himself with his important business, pausing only to scowl at anyone nearby who dares to talk, or if he’s accompanied by a colleague, spends the entire journey himself talking, clearly oblivious to the hypocrisy.

That’s one, next is iPod users (is iPod generic yet? you know what I mean, people using MP3 players of any description). Again on the oblivion theme, they have no dea what’s going on around them. They’re no longer of this world. Not really a problem I guess until you try to get past one of them in a crowded shop. “Excuse me,” you say politely at first. “Excuse me,” with a little more urgency. Still no result. Perhaps you even say it a third time before – horror – you actually reach out and touch them to get their attention. And then they look horrified, then bewelidered, then somehow surprised that they hadn’t noticed you. “Excuse me, you can’t hear anything so you’re not really aware of where you are, ARE you?” (But you never say that, it’s just an apologetic smile.)

Large umbrellas. I’m not talking golf umbrellas, though they’re bad enough, but today I nearly lost an eye to a Wilson-brand tennis umbrella that was the size of a family tent. So big in fact it had vents to stop it and the bloke attached to it from flying off in the wind. Is rain really so dangerous people need to ensure a 2 to 3 metre clear zone around themselves? Just plain silliness.

That’s it, everything else I like immensely.